Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
