There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize