trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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