oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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