WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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