Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
