id be glad to
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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