You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
