make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize