just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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