remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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