ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
