hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
