Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
