you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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