You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize