my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
