he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize