...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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