Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
