hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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