You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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