Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
