so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
