That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
