Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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