Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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