3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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