yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
