using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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