i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In other news, I just burned my penis
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
