I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
not ubering you a puppy
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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