I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you didnt know i had herpes?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize