The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
