Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it glows. i had to have it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
