I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
