I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
