Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
