My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
