dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
