Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize