Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
