The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
