i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That accounts for only three of the penises
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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