just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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