I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
