And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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