I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There's always time for handjobs
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
