you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
