Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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