Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Who died my cat blue again?
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