hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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