that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
