Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
