Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
