She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
