Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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