forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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