butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
