i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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